I need a change

I really need a kick in the ass and a slap in the face.

I SAY I will be better
I SAY that I will track
I dont.

I have no idea where to get motivation from.
I read other people's blogs hoping to find motivation that way....doesn't work.

I am not sure what to do
I weighed myself yesterday.....after eating some chips and dip.... I was back to where I was when I rejoined a year ago....sigh. 261.....261...... man things are not going well for me and I need to get myself out of this junk food hole.

100

Yes this is post number 100.
I don't really have anything special to say.
No good news, nothing fun.....just that this is post 100.

By this time I wanted to lose a lot more weight than I have so far.
it's been a year since I decided to get back into losing weight and I have only lost 5lb since then. I really wish I could get myself back to where I was 3 years ago when I lost 52lb. I kick myself when I think about how much weight I have put back on.

The broken leg (which still hasn't healed) has really put a damper on everything. It has messed with my emotions as it has ruined some things for me and is making my life really difficult right now. I can't do my job the way it should be done, I can't exercise, I cant drive for long periods, it's hard to go anywhere on my own. My contract at work is ending and I need to find a job. Who is gonna want to hire someone who cant walk without crutches??? especially to work in a lab.

This Friday is 24 weeks since I broke my leg!!!! that is almost half of the year!!!!! It is beyond getting ridiculous now!!!

Enough of that sadness!
I have decided that now that the wedding is over, and I am back from my honeymoon that it was time to get my but back in gear and at least eat healthy. Well I decided this yesterday and what did I eat..... 1/2 bag of dill pickle chips.....eek! I have been craving them for weeks and just fel like I needed them. Now I need John to finish them so I wont.

I did some grocery shopping and tried to get some foods that I can eat that are healthier for me. I think I did pretty good! Now to get back into tracking mode and I will be back 100%

MRS. RIDLEY!!!

I am now married!! I got married on June 27 to the love of my life and it was a great day!!!

When I get more pictures I will definitely post them. Here are some that were taken with my mom's camera (none from the ceremony as she was part of it).

I am going on my Honeymoon this Saturday on a Western Caribbean Cruise.

After all of this I NEED to get back on track!! I am seeing myself slowly getting larger and it ain't looking pretty.

Because I am not walking as much (you know because of the broken leg still......sigh), I am losing a lot of muscle mass and I am putting on fat. SOOOOOO not good! My belly is getting larger and soon clothes are not going to fit properly.

Once I get back from my honeymoon, I am going to be more strict about my food!! If we are going to start a family in the near future I need to get myself healthy!!!!!

I really need to be eating better. I can say that this week has been better than last week, but I have gotten myself into the "I really don't FEEL like cooking" mood, which is not really a mood to be in. I look in my cupboards and none of the food in them appeal to me. I guess I am just board with my food but not sure what I want to do with mix or spice it up. It would really help if I could just run to the store and grab something to cook.....sigh.

I am driving now, since I can put 50% pressure on my leg (it doesn't take that much pressure to press the gas pedal), the issue is that it takes so much time to get in and out of the car.

I get to my car and put the crutches in the passenger seat. I take my air cast off and put it in the passenger seat. I carefully put a shoe on my foot of the broken leg.....this is a challenge because my foot is still swollen and I cant just yank the shoe on. Then I drive. When I get to my destination, shoe comes off, boot goes on, get out of car, grab crutches and go....... then the process goes over again when I am done in the store -- I also cant push a shopping cart very well.
This is going to be a long few months.....AGAIN!



On a different note, I decided that I needed to somehow make some more money and for a while didn't know what I was going to do. I have now figured that out!!
I am now an Independent EcoAdvisor for OnlyGreen. OnlyGreen sells environmentally friendly products including beauty & health products, baby care, household products, clothing & accessories, paper & plastic alternatives etc. and I am selling these products.

If you are interested check out the Spring Summer Catalogue: http://www.onlygreen.com/media/files/Catalog_SpringSummer09.pdf

And if you would like to purchase any products you can do so through me:
http://www.ea.onlygreen.com/nikishagrant
nikishagrantridley@hotmail.com

Anxious

That is how I am feeling.....
Just about the wedding and everything happening. It's coming so fast. If doesn't feel like that long ago I got engaged, but that was 18 months ago!

Just trying to tie up some loose strings, but so far so good.

As for the leg....
I had my Doctor's appointment for my leg. This Friday will mark week 18 wince the break and I am still hobbling around on crutches.
My doctor informed me that it will be at LEAST 2 more months again that I have to use the crutches and I cannot weight bare more than 50% on my broken leg.
UGGGH this healing process is soooooo slow. Different doctors keep asking me if I am a smoker or if I live with a smoker because it can slow down the bone healing process. The answer to both is NO.

The doctor has given me permission to walk down the aisle with a cane, so I am happy about that. Less likely to get my dress all dirty and easier to get down the aisle. It's pretty short so I think I will be good.

What sucks is that I have this stupid boot on ALL SUMMER!!!! It is going to get sweaty and stinky and I wont be able to do a lot of the activity that I was planning on doing this summer. I wanted to ride my bike to work, I wanted to go for hikes with John, so I guess I will have to wait another year for that.

WW
Like I said before I haven't really been following it, but just trying to maintain. I had a bad week eating wise last week (or maybe it was 2 weeks ago) where I had KFC, McDonald's, Dairy Queen and I think Burger King all in the same week. SOOOOOOO not good for me! This week I have been much better in watching what I eat. As long as I don't gain I am happy. Once the wedding is done I am going to focus more on my points again. There is just so much in my brain right now that points have been pushed on the back burner. That will change soon!

An Apology

To everyone who reads my blog.

I was feeling lousy for a while and not myself, and really didn't feel like announcing anything about my life to the world.
Things are a lot better.

I have also been pretty busy. I get married in 20 days, so I am trying to finalise things with all of the vendors and what not. Also last week we booked our honeymoon!!!!!

John and I are SOOOOOO excited!!! we are going on a Western Caribbean cruise with Carnival from July 11-18. We visit Ocho Rios Jamaica, Grand Cayman Cayman Island, and Cozumel Mexico.

As for the weight thing, I was actually just trying to maintain. I cant afford to have my dress altered some more (as I was just getting it hemmed) and I fit into it perfect. Once the wedding happens I will be back to full on weight loss mode.

I will try more to post. I think many of my posts will be more wedding related for the next 3 weeks, so hope you don't mind :)

**sigh**

So I am sitting here at work....bored out of my mind and hungry!!
All I want to do is get a poutine and chips and sit in front of the TV and eat them!!!!!
I know not the best choices, but that's kind of how I feel right now. I am not sure. I don't feel unhappy or anything, but I just feel Blah........

I think because I cant actually do my intended job at work that its really getting to me now. I cant really carry acid samples down the hall with crutches...that is just asking for trouble. Work now just seems like a place to go, not a place to do something.

**sigh**

So I did alright yesterday. Tracked everything. Ate half of a Cinnamon bun that I didn't plan on eating (man I wish these weren't in the house), but I tracked it.

Today I hope will be much better.
I have no idea what I am going to make for dinner. This is where difficulty comes in. If John doesn't pull something for me to cook for dinner, I end up having something that's not so good, only because the deep freeze is in the basement and it is hard to carry frozen meat up the stairs with crutches....... *sigh*

On another note, I have started to put some weight on my leg (very little) and use it a bit. The doctor didn't tell me I could, but the physiotherapists have looked at my xrays and MRI and said that my bones wont heal if they aren't used; I guess that could explain why I have had pretty much NO healing at all. I still use my crutches and only put a little weight on. I am afraid to do too much because I don't want to mess anything else up, especially before the wedding.

I was supposed to see my doctor today about my leg, a monthly check up. 3 weeks ago I get a letter saying that today's appointment was cancelled and that I will be contacted to be reschedule. I have yet to be contacted, and I called yesterday and was told that they haven't made new appointments yet for my doctor.
Where is my doctor?? Is he on vacation or something?? couldn't he have figured this out before making appointments?? who knows really.... I was just hoping to have 2 appointments before my wedding, now it looks like only one.

My weekend!

So my weekend....meh!

Things didn't get much better after my chip binge. I didn't continue to go crazy, but I didn't count ANYTHING.

Friday night...I ate 2/3 of a frozen pizza to myself.
Saturday night... Swiss chalet. I ordered the white meat, but I ate the skin and ordered fries instead of a salad.

WI Saturday morning wasn't horrible. I gained 0.5lb. I think the majority of that may have been water retention due to the sodium packed things I have eaten in the last few days.

Today I am back on track!
--------

I have realised this weekend that I think my body is under more stress than my brain thought. The ankle of my broken leg has been sore
I am in A LOT of pain most days because my hip is inflamed from walking on crutches
The big toe of my broken leg now has a fungal infection from the air cast
Planning my wedding (which is in 47 days)

Now I haven't felt very stressed mentally, but my body is telling me I am.
I get cold sores, and have for 20 years. They usually come if I am getting sick, or if I am stressed, and I only ever get them on my lip.
I woke up Saturday morning with my chin covered in them...about 6 of them.
UGH!!!

I think the combination of pain and the medications I am taking, then trying to have a normal life when I cannot walk and have to rely on others are causing my body to freak out.

To add to it John's nan was rushed to the hospital in my city from another (about 45 mins away) because of a massive heart attack and she needed surgery right away.

I need some time off!

UGH!!

In the last 2 days I have eaten 2 bags of chips. No, not the personal size bags, the big bags.
WHY??? For no apparent reason. Just because I had a craving and over did it.
I don't even want to know how many points that was.
I WI tomorrow morning, so I will just put it past me and start a new week

but i do feel pretty UGH! because of it.

Do little dance.....

.... Make a little love, get down tonight!

Ok well at least do a little dance, for me :)
Since recommiting to counting points all I have done is STS or gain weight. I was getting very frustrated.
Today I WI and lost 2.7lb!!! YAY ME!!!

This week the only change I did was that I didnt eat any of my flex points (until some last night). I think I may try that again since I am not being active.

As for my food today:
B
1 egg scrambled (2)
1 slice whole grain bread w jam (4)
1/2 cup chocolate milk & 1/2 cup 1% milk (2.5)

S
fruit smoothie (vanilla yogurt, banana, frozen berries, milk) (5)
orange (1)

L
breaded frozen fish fillet (3)
salad w tomato, mushrooms, cheese and renees light caesar dressing (3)

D
TBD; possibly homemade pizza on pita bread (6)

S- Frozen Yogurt (2)

Points Used: 28.5
Points Left: 2.5

FOOD GLORIOUS FOOD!!!

My mom went grocery shopping for me and I am sooooo happy!
I can now get really serious about my weight loss now. I have been without vegetables for about 3 weeks and without fruit for about a week and it has been hard to figure out what to eat. I have stayed within my points, but my choices were not always the greatest.

Some of the foods I got:
apples, oranges, bananas, broccoli, cauliflower, tomatoes, mushrooms, carrots, whole grain bread, chicken breasts, low fat lunch meat, tuna, cereal plus some other things.

Today's food kinda sucked until dinner which was very yummy!!!
Boneless skinless chicken breast, seasoned and grilled on the George Foreman, fried rice with mushrooms and green onions, and carrots.

Tomorrow's Plan
b- Special K cereal with 1% milk & banana (6)
s- yogurt (1)
l- grilled chicken on a WW bun w tomato and low fat mayo, green apple, diet Pepsi (8)
s- orange (1)
d- TBD: having a mother daughter night, so we may get Thai food...I have 16pts left to use, plus 30WPA
------------------------

I was thinking today about how far I actually HAVE come.
Although I have gained some of my weight back, I still have some success. I do not eat anywhere near as bad or as much as I used to. I don't get as winded doing things as I used to either.

Back in 2005 we had a heat wave, and John and I did not want to turn the stove on because it was so hot. We ate out waaaaaaaayyyy more than we should have. Probably no less than 3 times per week.
Also one horrible thing I used to do when I was bored was drive to some fast food restaurant and get a burger. I would do this in between lunch and dinner. I wasn't necessarily hungry. I just was bored and fast food was the first thing on my mind. This was such a horrible thing that I am glad I stopped doing. I didn't need the extra meal, let alone one that was so full of fat.
BLECH!!!

I think I can honestly say that WW has saved me from a horrible existence!!

Pleased!

So I am very happy with how my day went yesterday.
I have made a list of all of the groceries I want, along with the healthy meals I am going to make with them. I feel like I did when I joined WW 3 years ago (almost exactally), just excited to be eating healthier and losing weight!

My mom is going to go to the store for me, and get me the foods I need. I feel so deprived as I havent had ANY vegetables in my house for at least 2 weeks. My dinners are just lacking.

Yesterday's Food

B- Life cereal w 1% milk
L- Tuna Sandwich on whole wheat, astro fruit yogurt
S- Chips
D- lean breaded pork chops, homemade fries
S- frozen yogurt
32pts + 1 flex

The chips were not planned, but I tracked then and made them work in my day. As you can see my meals are severly lacking some produce!!

Today's Food

B- Life cereal w 1% milk
L- Tuna Sandwich on whole wheat
S- French Vanilla Cap + raspberry donut
*this was supposed to be a steeped tea and 2 timbits. They were out of timbits and I caved.
S- Granny smith apple
D- Steak & sweet potato

So far this leaves me with 6 points left. I think I may also have a yogurt before dinner, which still leaves me with 5

I will work on this!!

Have a great Tuesday

Sigh

Another week has gone by and more weight has been put on. It is really frustrating. I cant afford to put on any more weight.....really I cant. If I keep gaining, then my wedding dress will no loger fit and I will have to buy a new one.

I have always eaten my WPA and lost weight, but since I am rarely moving, I think I am going to try to not eat any of them (or very little) . I am pretty sure that this will help. I will test it out for a couple weeks and see how itworks for me.

Another thing I HAVE to start getting back to is drinking water. This should also help me.

Lets hope this week is better than the last has been.

-----------------------------
On a positive note, John and I met with the photographer for our wedding. Things are really coming together and I am very very pleased! RSVP's have been rolling in and people still have 4 weeks to send them.
We have received money from his parents to help pay for the vendors (besides the hall/dinner).

I will have to walk down the aisle with crutches or a cane....so I will have to make ideas on how to decorate them. So far that is the only snag to my wedding, so I will be ok if it is the only one.

Well....It's Monday

And I am actually feeling pretty good.....(except the hip pain...that is still present)

I decided that because I am not going to be able to do much activity with my broken leg, and the other issues that has brought about I need to focus more on what I am eating. I decided to suck it up and rejoin WW Online. I don't really have the money, but it helps me become more accountable for what I am doing; and I missed the recipe builder.

I already tracked today (including the dinner I haven't eaten yet) and it leaves me with 2 points left for the day. I think I will treat myself to some fat free frozen yogurt. MMMM!!

I tracked for Saturday and Sunday. I didn't do as well those days as I wanted, but I tracked, and still have most of my WPA, I just didn't make the best choices (Pizza....mmmm)
-------

Right now I am working at lab in a university and I enjoy my job and love the people I work with, but I think I a ready for something new. My contract with this job ends in October (unless my employer gets more money for me) and I cant wait until I have no job to find a new job. Also where I work is where I did my placement for school and is my first real job since graduating. I think I am ready to move on to something different.

The issue I have is that where I live, there are no jobs available. I look every couple days but there's nothing. If I were to move to a bigger city like Toronto or Ottawa I would have trouble finding a job, but here not so much.

I am not going o let this get me down as I have just under 6 months to find one, but I just don't want to be unemployed (or work somewhere for minimum wage)

Going the Wrong Way

well things seem to be going the wrong direction for me.
I haven't lost any weight since recommitting myself. I am not going to freak out yet, but I'm kind of displeased.
When I started on March 13 I weighed 248.3 and I now weigh 250.0
I know it's not a lot, and I am happy that since I cannot walk that I am pretty much maintaining my weight, but maintenance is not what I want.

I will have to pay tighter attention to what I am eating because that seems to be the only thing that will help me right now.

TODAY I start being more strict with my food!!!
-------
Another thing going the wrong way is the healing of my leg. Well not really the wrong way, but definitely at a stand still.

I was originally told that I would be able to walk on my wedding day (which is 70 days from today). I went to the doctor on Thursday and it looks like I may not be able to walk by then. At my appointment I was told that it will be at least 2 months before I will be able to start using my leg. My xrays show that there hasn't been very much healing of the bones, as they look almost the same as they did back in February when I broke it.

I am kind of frustrated about it and was stressing about it for a couple days. I had already accepted the fact that I would at least be requiring a cane to walk down the aisle. I had plans to decorate the cane, and have no trouble walking down that aisle. Now I may need crutches which I don't really want.

I am trying to stay positive about everything and I am still hoping that a cane is what I will be using. Keeping my fingers crossed!!!

Post Easter

So for Easter John and I went to visit his family in Peterborough. Things went OK but I could have done a WHOLE lot better!!

I don't know what it is but every time I am visiting his family I think it is an excuse to eat. I don't have much self control. I did OK on some of the days that I was there, but it was after I realised that the first few days were not so hot.

When it came to my meals I never overate. My portions were normal size and seconds were not existent. My issue came to the goodies. I may have mentioned it in a previous post, but my FMIL loves to bake. If there is an event, there are baked goods.

The day we got there she had white coconut macaroons made...YUMMY!! i couldn't keep my hands off. Later that day she made Buttermilk Potato Doughnuts.
*these may sound odd but they are SOOOO good. The dough is made with mashed potatoes among the other normal baking ingredients.
These doughnuts are deep fried and then dipped in sugar. Not healthy but really good.

The next day was John's dad's birthday, which included birthday cake....and more (like 4-5) doughnuts.

The next day was Sunday.... EASTER!! And on top of dinner what did I have?.... A slice of pumpkin pie with whipping cream. She also made lemon meringue and cherry pie. Easter dinner is when I realised that I need to slow down and pay more attention to what I am eating.

We were in ptbo for 2 more days and I had in that time 1 more small slice of pie and 1 doughnut so a lot better.
-------
On Saturday I was in Loblaws with John and his mom to get the birthday cake for his dad. We were on our way to the cash registers and what happens?????? My right crutch (that supports my broken right leg) finds some water on the floor and down I go! I land on my foot of the broken leg, and then on the floor, knocking down potted plants with me!!! UGH!
So pain.....Yes
activity....No because walking around with my leg hanging was hurting, and was much better for me to sit on the couch with my leg propped up.

I go to the doctors tomorrow to make sure I didn't cause more damage. I am not in a lot of pain so I think I may have just irritated it more than anything. I do have 2 metal plates and 21 screws so I think they held me in place pretty well.

Well that was my Easter....hope you all had a great and healthy one!

horrible reminder

I decided that it was time for a rude awakening, and a horrible reminder. I thought I needed to put up these picture to remine me of where I started and where I dont want to return.

These pictures were taken on my 22nd birthday (March 2006). I was at my highest weight of 274lb and I wasn't very happy. I decided on May of that year it ws time to change my life

Weight: 274 size: 20-22

Current weight: 248.8 size: 16-18

Easter's a coming

So Easter is on it's way and it is going to be DIFFICULT!! this is where my restraint is going to have to kick it into high gear.

John (fiance) and I are going to his parents house tomorrow morning.
Friday's dinner is to celebrate our birthday's (Mine was March 22 and His April 3) and his mom is cooking a roast. This means gravy, buttery potatoes, and carrots dripping with butter.
Sunday dinner is turkey dinner. Sooooo very similar to Friday.
She wants to bake a birthday cake.
John wants her to make homemade donuts
She will probably be making a pie (she makes minimum 8 pies for Xmas)
and then on top of it all, she will be giving us chocolates, I know it

PORTION CONTROL will be my best friend this week!!!

I will be trying my best to get online; here and on ww.ca to be accountable for everything I do and eat. I cant afford to gain any more weight right now!!

I WILL be successful
I WONT overeat

but I am scared

Canadian Living Recipes

So today things went ok for me. Just finished eating dinner which was realllly yummy, but I havent done any activity today EEK!!
I have been looking through some of my Canadian Living magazines writing down some recipes that sound really yummy. I am excited to go to the store and get things I need. Two of them sound extra yummy so I thought I would share: Peanut Chicken Pitas and Chai Spiced Baked Oatmeal.

Peanut Chicken Pitas
2 boneless skinless chicken breasts
1 tbsp canola oil
¼ tsp salt and pepper
3 tbsp soy sauce
3 tbsp lime juice
2 tsp sugar
1 tsp minced gingerroot
1 tsp sesame oil
1 minced clove garlic
2 ribs celery, diced
2 green onions, diced
1 carrot, grated
½ cup snow peas, blanced and quarted crosswise
4 pita bread halved, or flour tortillas

Brush chicken with oil; sprinkle salt and pepper. Roast on baking sheet in 400F oven until juices run clear when chicken is pierced, 20-25 minutes. Let cool; cut into cubes *make ahead and refrigerate for up to 6 hours
In large bowl, whisk together peanut butter, soy sauce, lime juice, sugar, ginger, sesame oil and garlic until smooth. Stir in chicken, celery, green onions, carrot and snow peas
Divide among pitas

Makes 4 servings
per serving: 418 cal, 28g pro, 15g fat (2g sat fat), 44g carb, 4g fibre, 42mg chol, 989mg sodium
(9POINTS)

Chai Spiced Baked Oatmeal
1 ½ cups large flake rolled oats
¼ cup packed brown sugar
½ tsp cinnamon
¼ ground ginger and cardamom
¼ tsp salt
pinch ground cloves and pepper
2 cups milk
1 cup toasted almonds
1 cup blueberries

In a bowl, stir together oats, sugar, cinnamon, ginger, cardamom, salt, cloves and pepper; pour in milk and 1 ½ cups water, blending well. Scrape into greased 8inch square glass baking dish
Bake in 350F oven, stirring once, until liquid is absorbed and oats are softened, about 50 minutes. Serve with almonds and blueberries to sprinkle over top.
*make ahead: let cool. Refrigerate in airtight container for up to 3 days. Serve warm

Makes 4-6 servings
per each of 6 servings: 269cal, 10g pro, 11g fat (2g sat fat), 35g carb, 5g fibre, 7mg chol, 137mg sodium.
(5POINTS)

So the points aren't the lowest, but may work for people like me who have a lot each day (31) or if you want to use some flex. There are also ways that you can alter these recipes to make them even healtier (use WW wraps instead of pita for example)

Food for today...
Breakfast: 6
Tim Hortons Cinnamon Bagel with very little butter (6)
Steeped Tea (0)

Lunch: 7
Oven Roast Pork Tenderloin (5)
Rice (2)

Snack: 8
2 homemade muffins (8)

Dinner: 12
Tomato Soup (3)
Grilled Cheese (7)
1 cup 1% milk (2)

Points Used: 33
Points Left: -2

Liquids: IIIIII
Fruit/Veggies: I
Milk: III
Oil:
Protein: I
Multi Vitamin: I
Whole Grains:

So yesterday went pretty good.
I said in the morning what I was going to eat and i tried to follow that plan, but I slipped a little

What I said I would eat:

2 slices ww toast w PB&J
1 cup milk
100cal snack
chili
1 can diet coke
roast pork tenderloin with carrots and rice
1 cup milk

Points Used:27
Points Left:4

What I did eat:

2 slices ww toast w PB&J
1 cup milk
100cal snack
chili (1/2 of what I brought)
1 can diet coke
1 medium french vanilla cappuccino
roast pork tenderloin with peas and rice
1 can diet coke
1 muffin that tastes like donuts (yes that's the title of it, DF made them)

Points Used: 32
Points Left: -1

So points wise I didn't do too bad.....but when you take a look at what I ate I really didn't do that good. I need to get to the grocery store because I am really lacking on the fruits and vegetables. Also as you can see, I did not have one glass of water. I know that with WW we now liquids, but I wanted at least half my liquids to be water.

Today I hope to do better......again I will be lacking on the fruit/veggie side because I don't have any at home and cant get to the store in my condition :(

Activity......????

YES i did some activity! While dinner was cooking I decided that I can be a little more productive than just sitting on my ass in front of the TV.
I was able to do 50 crunches, then 20 crunches + bicycle kicks, then 20 push ups and then I worked with my hand weights.
I plan to do it again tonight.

Being Accountable!!

So I have been thinking to myself that I needed a way to be accountable for what I do on this journey. I didn't feel like just writing here was enough, because really i could just not write it; it is my blog.

On the WW.ca boards I am part of a group which is called Curvy Cuties. All of us are those who have at least 80 (i believe this is the number) pounds to lose. Today it has been decided that because we ALL seem to have a hard time with sticking to what we say we are going to do we will have a challenge: Curvy Cuties Beach Blast Challenge.

For this challenge we have a goal weight to achieve by June 21 (first day of summer). Because I cannot move very easily I have made this weight 12lb. That is just over 1lb/week.

Also what we are going to do is tell everyone what are plans for the day are food and activity wise, and the next day report to all how well we did.

I think this will help me because MANY MANY MANY times I have said I am going to do something or eat something and things just don't go that way. The couch calls my name and I become a lump on the couch. Now I have people to report to every day, and I will be very embarrassed if i tell them that all i did was lay on the couch every night. LOL

Sucks!! but I am working on it

So I WI this morning and i had a gain :P
I now weigh 248.8 which is a gain of 0.5lb. TOM started yesterday so this may be the reason. I am not going to let it bother me yet. I will see what happens at y next weekend as that will make more sense in the end.

I worked out yesterday, which was a big change. Its amazing on how little i have to do right now to get tired and build up a sweat. I didn't do very much: used the hand weights doing different types of lifts and boxing punches; but wow i was tired after. I will just have to make sure I keep up with it.

Food I am still having trouble with. I just dont have the motivation to cook!! when i do get myself some food I am trying my best to make sure what I am eating is healthy, and I am watching portion sizes, but i really just dont want to cook. It just takes so much energy and strength to stand in the kitchen to cook on one leg, that i just dont want to so it. Also all of the frozen meat in the house is in the freezer in the basement; 16 stairs. It is really hard for me to go up and down these stairs with the crutches, let alone with a frozen hunk of meat. I am not sure what I can do to stop feeling this way....but at least I am not sabotaging myself because of it.

I am hungry now and I have no idea what I am going to eat. eek

Slacking....no more

So i have really been slacking when it comes to my blog. I love writing in it but I seem to forget or put it off. I need to get my act together.

Well this last week has been some ups and downs I guess you can put it.
Monday I had my doctors appointment about my leg. I was really hoping that he would tell me i can start putting a little pressure on it, or that I can take the air cast off while I sleep.....NOPE!!! Nothing has changed and I still have to put zero pressure on it for another 6 weeks which is when my next appointment is :(

Because of this I am still limited to the amount of activity I can do, but I am going to do as much upper body as I can; without my arms feeling like they are going to fall off, since I use them to walk.

I decided that I needed to get my act in gear for real. I am trying to get my motivation up and its been hard. You read my blogs and i seem to say each time that I am going to get back to it and then I don't. I am hoping I can change this this time. On Saturday past it was 13 weeks until my wedding. I decided that I am going to lose 13lb by then. That is only 1lb a week and I think with the right foods alone i should be able to do this. I need to make sure that I fit into my dress because at this point I cannot afford a new one.

I WILL work out to the best of my ability
I WILL make healthy food choices
I WILL not give up
I WILL lose 13lb

wish me luck everyone :)

It it's not one thing, it's another

I wrote this on WW board today

So as many of you may already know, I broke my leg 6 weeks ago. I am in an air cast an not very mobile. I was off WW for a bit and decided recently to get back on track.I started tracking again and making good choices.
The next step was I was going to start doing some working out, mainly upper body since lower doesnt move much....well that plan has gone down the pooper for a while!!!

I started having some hip pain a couple of weeks ago. No big deal, it would be there for about 30 mins and be gone. This monday after work i noticed that it was getting bad. Getting harder to walk with the crutches and even while sitting when I would try to reposition myself I would get a shooting pain through my hip and butt. So no activity monday like i had planned

Went to bed, had a horrible sleep, and couldnt even get out of bed the next morning. So no movement really at all tuesday.

Yesterday same thing, so I went to the doctor. She figures because I have been using crutches for so long and my right leg is up in the air all the time that my hip is out of placement and causing muscle pains and pinched nerves.I am now taking medication that makes me drowsy to help with pain and inflammation.

I cant get up easily to be active. I cant get my own food... Its just so discouraging!I just want to be able to walk again!!!!

sorry for the long post...just wanted to get som frustration out.

This whole broken leg thing is just getting tiring and a pain in the but. I cant go where I want, do what I want because I am pretty much stuck in my house. My mom can drive me, but really I dont want to ask her to drive me everywhere, plus she has a broken arm and she needs rest as well.....

UGGHH!!!!

I need to get active so I can fit into my dress...i dont want to have to buy a new one.

First WI in a while

So with the whole broken leg thing I haven't been able to hop onto a scale.
I weighed myself last night and I wasn't too surprised with the result.
I weighed in at 248.3.

So in 2 months I gained just under 4lb, but 5 of those weeks I have been sitting or laying down most of the day doing nothing. I can totally accept this weight gain and I am actually happy with it. I just didn't want to be over 250.

I started tracking again on Wednesday and I am noticing that I am having difficulties. Its just that I am not used to it, and having troubles making some foods. I can only stand for so long, since 248lb is a lot of weight to put on one foot. I am trying my best and I think after a few weeks I will get back into the flow.

I am ready to go!!!

I'M BACK

well sorta....

It's neem just about 5 weeks since I broke my leg and I think I am ready to start tracking again. I am more able to make my own food now and not in any pain so I think this is a good time!! :)

I am not sure if I am going to WI much since i have the aircast on but we will see. I may be able to pull it off! :)

Also I am not able to work out so much. I can do upper body stuff with the hand weights, as well as crunches so I will do that to get at least a little bit of activity in.

I feel good about this. I have felt so out of the loop for a while....so its a good time to get back to it. I am afraid that I gained weight and wont fit into my wedding dress anymore and I cant let that happen!!!

2 weeks

So it has been 2 weeks since I broke my leg and things are doing ok.
I have been walking around the house with either my crutches or my walker the whole time not being able to use my right leg at all. The only time i have left the house was to go to my post op appointment.

At my appointment I had my cast removed and the staples taken out (about 50) and I am now in a walking boot. The downside is that for at leat 4 more weeks I am not allowed to use my leg :(
I even have to sleep with the boot on which can be very uncomfortable.

I just hope every heals properly.

The harderst thing about it all is that i just want to get up and go. Even when there is no where to go I like knowing that if I wanted to I could just go. My fiance doesnt drive so he cant even take me anywhere to get out of the house. Kinda sucks.

I have saved some money since I havent gone anywhere to spend it lol

Absolutely Bored

So laying here on my back for the 6th day in a row I have decided that I am absolutely bored. I am really beginning to hate not being able to get up and move freely whenever I want. Right now I get out of bed just to pee and then back in I go.

In a way I am kind of glad that I am stuck in bed because I am a bored eater and if I had easy access to the fridge I would be eating like CRAZY!!!!

What really sucks about this whole injury is that the week that I hurt myself I finally got my mind set in the weight loss mode and I was really starting to get strict about working out. I wanted to make sure that I fit into my wedding dress in June. I only hope that I do not gain too much weight while lying here because it is going to be VERY hard to lose it when I am using a walker to get around.

ugh!! i just feel like i am going to go crazy here and I am stuck in my room for another week!
I am planning on taking one day and moving to the living room for one day but it is really hard to go down and then back up 15 stairs.

ok now i feel like i am rambling......i will most likely write again 2morrow :)

Taking a break from WW

So I am taking a break from WW for a while.
I am going to still try to make healthy choices on what I eat, but i don't think right now I have the energy to think about points and counting....

Why???.....

Friday morning I slipped on some ice and shattered my tibia and fibula. I probably have like 8 breaks total in one leg. I have 2 metal plates and at least 20 screws in it.
Right now I am bed ridden so I cannot make my own meals, or even get to the kitchen right now. THe only way I can get around is with my walker or crutches right now and it will be this way for at least 3 months.

I want to take most of my focus and put it on healing and getting better before I think about how many points my peanut butter and jelly sandwich is!!\

if people are interested here are a couple pics of my incisions.
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=214540&l=d856d&id=555650720

Biggest Loser Workout - Weightloss Yoga

So I just finished doing this new DVD I just got and I can say that I loved it. It was really hard for me at first but I think I will get better as I get stronger. I have never had very much upper body strength so this should help. Along with my other 2 Biggest Loser DVD's this should be a great workout for me! It will help me get 20lb off by the time I get married ♥☺

Bad Week Went Well

So i didn't have suck a good week last week, eating wise.
I guess I couldn't say no to eating out.
Within one week I had Wendy's, Harvey's, Swiss Chalet and Pizza. Not good choices

Things went well at my WI though on Monday. I lost 0.7lb!! yay me!
I do have a feeling that it will catch up with me at my next WI so I gotta kick myself back into gear.

I bought the Biggest Loser Workout - Yoga and it just arrived today. I now have 3 different videos to workout too plus my DDR so I should get bored. I just have to get more strict with myself. Tomorrow I am going to try my yoga and I am actually kinda excited about it. I have never tried yoga, and I wanted something different!! I am going to try and work hard this weekend!!

Its been a million years.....

Since I have posted. I am now committed again to blogging and posting on WW.ca

So how have things been going for me?
Well December was pretty busy and things were going alright. I wasn't really losing much weight but I wasn't gaining either. I was tracking everything.
I had my WI on December 22 and I decided that day that my goal was to stay the same over Christmas.

Over Christmas I didn't track the whole time, but I had planned that. I watched everything I ate; made sure I didn't over due my portions and tried to make smarter decisions. I also tried to make sure that I was keeping active.

My first WI after Christmas holidays was January 5th and I ended up losing 1 lb. That just made my day and a great way to start the year.

Well since then things haven't been great. They haven't been horrible, but just not great.
DF had his wisdom teeth out so he isn't eating real meals so that leaves me to make dinner to one. Most of the time I just ended up finding whatever to eat, and we all know that means trouble. I also haven't been working out, like at all. I also missed this weeks WI. So I need to get back into it.

Today I have started tracking and watching what I eat more closely, and I am starting to work out again so I am back on track.