Anxious

That is how I am feeling.....
Just about the wedding and everything happening. It's coming so fast. If doesn't feel like that long ago I got engaged, but that was 18 months ago!

Just trying to tie up some loose strings, but so far so good.

As for the leg....
I had my Doctor's appointment for my leg. This Friday will mark week 18 wince the break and I am still hobbling around on crutches.
My doctor informed me that it will be at LEAST 2 more months again that I have to use the crutches and I cannot weight bare more than 50% on my broken leg.
UGGGH this healing process is soooooo slow. Different doctors keep asking me if I am a smoker or if I live with a smoker because it can slow down the bone healing process. The answer to both is NO.

The doctor has given me permission to walk down the aisle with a cane, so I am happy about that. Less likely to get my dress all dirty and easier to get down the aisle. It's pretty short so I think I will be good.

What sucks is that I have this stupid boot on ALL SUMMER!!!! It is going to get sweaty and stinky and I wont be able to do a lot of the activity that I was planning on doing this summer. I wanted to ride my bike to work, I wanted to go for hikes with John, so I guess I will have to wait another year for that.

WW
Like I said before I haven't really been following it, but just trying to maintain. I had a bad week eating wise last week (or maybe it was 2 weeks ago) where I had KFC, McDonald's, Dairy Queen and I think Burger King all in the same week. SOOOOOOO not good for me! This week I have been much better in watching what I eat. As long as I don't gain I am happy. Once the wedding is done I am going to focus more on my points again. There is just so much in my brain right now that points have been pushed on the back burner. That will change soon!

An Apology

To everyone who reads my blog.

I was feeling lousy for a while and not myself, and really didn't feel like announcing anything about my life to the world.
Things are a lot better.

I have also been pretty busy. I get married in 20 days, so I am trying to finalise things with all of the vendors and what not. Also last week we booked our honeymoon!!!!!

John and I are SOOOOOO excited!!! we are going on a Western Caribbean cruise with Carnival from July 11-18. We visit Ocho Rios Jamaica, Grand Cayman Cayman Island, and Cozumel Mexico.

As for the weight thing, I was actually just trying to maintain. I cant afford to have my dress altered some more (as I was just getting it hemmed) and I fit into it perfect. Once the wedding happens I will be back to full on weight loss mode.

I will try more to post. I think many of my posts will be more wedding related for the next 3 weeks, so hope you don't mind :)

**sigh**

So I am sitting here at work....bored out of my mind and hungry!!
All I want to do is get a poutine and chips and sit in front of the TV and eat them!!!!!
I know not the best choices, but that's kind of how I feel right now. I am not sure. I don't feel unhappy or anything, but I just feel Blah........

I think because I cant actually do my intended job at work that its really getting to me now. I cant really carry acid samples down the hall with crutches...that is just asking for trouble. Work now just seems like a place to go, not a place to do something.

**sigh**

So I did alright yesterday. Tracked everything. Ate half of a Cinnamon bun that I didn't plan on eating (man I wish these weren't in the house), but I tracked it.

Today I hope will be much better.
I have no idea what I am going to make for dinner. This is where difficulty comes in. If John doesn't pull something for me to cook for dinner, I end up having something that's not so good, only because the deep freeze is in the basement and it is hard to carry frozen meat up the stairs with crutches....... *sigh*

On another note, I have started to put some weight on my leg (very little) and use it a bit. The doctor didn't tell me I could, but the physiotherapists have looked at my xrays and MRI and said that my bones wont heal if they aren't used; I guess that could explain why I have had pretty much NO healing at all. I still use my crutches and only put a little weight on. I am afraid to do too much because I don't want to mess anything else up, especially before the wedding.

I was supposed to see my doctor today about my leg, a monthly check up. 3 weeks ago I get a letter saying that today's appointment was cancelled and that I will be contacted to be reschedule. I have yet to be contacted, and I called yesterday and was told that they haven't made new appointments yet for my doctor.
Where is my doctor?? Is he on vacation or something?? couldn't he have figured this out before making appointments?? who knows really.... I was just hoping to have 2 appointments before my wedding, now it looks like only one.

My weekend!

So my weekend....meh!

Things didn't get much better after my chip binge. I didn't continue to go crazy, but I didn't count ANYTHING.

Friday night...I ate 2/3 of a frozen pizza to myself.
Saturday night... Swiss chalet. I ordered the white meat, but I ate the skin and ordered fries instead of a salad.

WI Saturday morning wasn't horrible. I gained 0.5lb. I think the majority of that may have been water retention due to the sodium packed things I have eaten in the last few days.

Today I am back on track!
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I have realised this weekend that I think my body is under more stress than my brain thought. The ankle of my broken leg has been sore
I am in A LOT of pain most days because my hip is inflamed from walking on crutches
The big toe of my broken leg now has a fungal infection from the air cast
Planning my wedding (which is in 47 days)

Now I haven't felt very stressed mentally, but my body is telling me I am.
I get cold sores, and have for 20 years. They usually come if I am getting sick, or if I am stressed, and I only ever get them on my lip.
I woke up Saturday morning with my chin covered in them...about 6 of them.
UGH!!!

I think the combination of pain and the medications I am taking, then trying to have a normal life when I cannot walk and have to rely on others are causing my body to freak out.

To add to it John's nan was rushed to the hospital in my city from another (about 45 mins away) because of a massive heart attack and she needed surgery right away.

I need some time off!